this is me ranting, i'm sorry ahead of time

a moment today after it hailed, the sun showed it's face, but no rainbow (from what i could see through my window)

i'm getting sick. i swear, every time i get sick, it starts with a sore throat. and i can already feel it. tomorrow it will be horrible. then Sunday i will be dying from a cold. just wait. today when i started to feel the sore throat, i immediately took vitamin C and A and drank orange juice and lots of water. so maybe it won't get too horrible. it's probably because i never eat. or when i do, it's really unbalanced. like chocolate chip waffles and a poptart in the morning. a few pretzels throughout the day. a mini bagel with cream cheese. then whatever tiny meal Carrie makes for dinner. it's pretty bad. i just never remember to eat during the day, and when i do, we have NO food! nothing to make a sandwich or quesadilla or grilled cheese. it's unbelievable. and half of the stuff Carrie buys i don't eat, like fruit snacks and chips and bologna. BLECH!! and then when we do have edible stuff, it never last more than three days. really.
so whatever, i'm malnourished or whatnot. this is why i'm getting sick. it's awesome.

so anyway, tomorrow i'm going to yoga at 8:30 in the morning o_o i have no clue how i'm going to wake up for it, but it's gonna happen. then i'm going to apply for a passport. woo! something that should've been done months ago, but every time i mention it, Carrie just completely dismisses and forgets about it. UGH!!!! so i'm hoping it'll be ready by July so i can actually go to Italy if i officially decide to go! haha. then hopefully we're going to go downtown so i can return stuff to Jcrew. i swear, something is wrong with Carrie. she just doesn't understand anything i think. like she doesn't understand why i want to return it to the store instead of shipping it which would cost me like 10 extra bucks. and it's not like we ever go downtown, so why doesn't she want to venture out beyond Bristol every once in a while??? AND it's not like it's an hour away or something...it's 25 minutes away! i do not get it! all we've been doing the past few weekends is stay in the house all.day.long. which means i stay in my room, on my bed all.day.long. it is miserable!!! they keep saying "oh we need to go do stuff downtown or whatever before we move" so what the heck are they doing wasting all of this time?!? oh my goodness!!

oh and general conference this weekend? ya, there's no chance that we're going to church to watch it (we don't get the channel that it's on so a lot of people go to the church). the last one in the fall, their excuse for not going was "everyone's sick so we're just going to stay at home and rest. and so we won't get everyone at church sick." but we were all pretty much better by then. so what's their excuse going to be this time i wonder? so so lame. i guess i'll try to watch it online or something.

so anyway, sorry for going on that rant. but i just had to let it out somewhere. i wish i could always be all positive and happy, but this isn't exactly an uplifting environment. dinner the last couple of nights has been so awkward, it's ridiculous. and they probably think i'm the most lazy person in the world since i'm always in my room, usually on my computer. but it's cuz there's no way i would go out there unless i absolutely had to!

ok kiana, just 6 MORE WEEKS!!! you can do this....
except that the next three weeks carrie has taken work off (she's having surgery) which means i will have NO freedom! i came to that realization a couple hours ago and freaked out a little bit. I'M GOING TO BE STUCK IN MY ROOM FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS!!!! (except for the 3 days that i'm in NY with my friends) hoooolllllyyyy crap i'm gonna die. D:

okokok going to sleep now. yoga in the morning. breatheeeee. hummmmmmmmm.